I want to hide in a never ending blanket of darkness,
where i am allowed to feel this anger.
I want to turn out all the bright lights that reveal me,
and shiver on the cold basment floor.
No one understands this kind of fear in me,
they cant even see it oozing out of my soul.
A fake smile seems to give them reasurrance,
but these eyes have tears aswell.
Why cant they notice my fragile heart cracked?
Why wont they accept that i have failed?
Why wont they get mad?
I want punishment for feeling so disturbed,
needing to stop caring about everyone else.
If I loose this last spark.. then im gone,
yet I worry that spark will leave my being.
Maybe i would like to leave you all,
leave u all behind me.
I have no real worries to keep me down,
but i also have no cares.
These days my mind is a jumble,
I can see my old self standing there out of reach.
I CAN NOT be her again,
no matter how hard I try to go back.
If there is a God then I should pray,
"oh lord save my emotionless soul."
"bring peace t